magser | Someone else's Life

Title:Someone Elses Life
Chapter: 23/?
Wordcount:3,477
Characters, Pairing: Jared/Jensen, Chad, Sandy, Chris, Steve/Sophia, Patrick Dempsey, Robert Wisdom, David Boreanaz, mentions of Jared/omc; Jensen/ David .
Summary:Jared Padalecki is a young man living hand to mouth, trying to save the only two friends he has in the world. Jensen ackles is a man with a broken heart and dented pride, and enters Jareds life long enough to leave him with a drawing and a dream of what Jared could have had. When one of Jareds friends dies tragically, Jared is left with no choice but to run, and ends up living a life that isnt his, a life that he can never have. What happens when Jensen finds Jared living in the house meant for the fiance that broke his heart, and can they come to an arrangement that suits them both?

Warning: Hmmmm in this one, we see the after effects of what Jared went through, some may be sensitive to what I have written.....even though I just describe how he looks.

Chapter 22

The silence was tense and uneasy between the four men as they made their way down the elevator from the high rise apartment Jensen lived in. Chris and Steve shared worried looks as Jensen’s face seemed to be carved from stone suddenly, as if he was deliberately shutting down any emotions and Chad just looked scared and frightened, obviously thinking about Jared and what he was going through.

It was while Steve went to bring the truck around that Chad stiffened beside Jensen. Hearing a curse tumble from Chad’s mouth had Jensen turning in the direction that Chad was now staring with dawning horror on his face.

“Chad? What is......?”

The rest of the words Jensen was speaking faded as he watched a tall figure stumble from a car not too far away from where they were standing. The obviously hurt man took a tumble on the sidewalk as the car peeled away into the night and Chad was off at a run in an instant.

“Jared!”

Jensen was seconds behind Chad and reached Jared’s side as Chad cradled Jared’s face in his hands as Jared crouched on all fours on the ground.

“What’d you do huh? Jared what the fuck did you do? Oh Jesus Jay.....oh Jesus.....”

All Jensen could do was stare in shock as Chad crouched on his knees and gathered a mute Jared into his arms and rocked him mumbling and crying freely, seeing the utter despair in Jared’s eye’s as Jared continued to stare into space completely lax in Chad’s arms.

“Jared.....Jesus I’m so sorry....I’m sorry, I’m sorry....I tried...I tried so fucking hard to protect you from this.....I’m sorry.....Jesus Jared.....”

Chris arrived behind Jensen and took in the unfolding scene before nudging Jensen, “We have got to get him out of here Jensen, take him to a hospital or something.”

“No!”

The words from Jared’s mouth were hoarse and barely heard above the noise of the city around them, “No....no doctors, please......” He turned glazed eyes to Chad and pleaded “Chad...please....I just....I want to go home....I need to get cleaned up....no hospital please Chad?”

Chad searched Jared’s eyes briefly before nodding and cradling Jared’s head once again in his shoulder. Looking up at the two men who were standing over them he spoke quietly “Help me get him inside, we can check him out there and see for ourselves if he needs a doctor.”

Rising to his feet with a mumbled “Come on bud, lets get you inside.” Chad moved to Jared’s side and Jensen moved for the first time and placed a hand under Jared’s arm in a reassuring touch, it was his soft “Jare...” That had Jared’s head rising fast and with a dead look in his eyes flinched away from his touch.

“Don’t touch me.”

Jensen moved toward him and Jared stumbled backwards, almost taking Chad and himself to the ground in his haste to back away, “Please....Don’t touch me Jensen.....I’m dirty.....just.....don’t.......”

“Jare, I don’t care, I just want to help you, please, let me help you.”

“I care Jensen, I fucking care....I’m dirty.....just......don’t”

A touch to Jensen’s shoulder and Chris shook his head, Jensen nodded silently, tears gathering at dead look in Jared’s normally expressive eyes as Chad led him away toward the apartment.

The ride back up in the elevator was spent anxiously watching as Jared leaned into the far corner, as if trying to make himself disappear into the very walls, Chad never letting go of his friend. Jensen watched helplessly, hurt racing through his blood as Jared leaned into Chad’s touch briefly before straightening again. He should be the one to hold him, he should be the one to make is all go away., not stand like a stranger not knowing what to do.

The silence continued after they entered the apartment once more and Jared never spoke except to utter one word, not looking at anyone, eyes firmly on the floor, “shower.”

Jensen led the way as Chad guided a visibly shaking Jared down the hallway and into what was obviously Jensen’s bedroom and the private bathroom connected to it. Opening the door he made sure to look straight at Jared, wanting him to see how much he cared, how he just wanted to reassure him, “Use this one, you will have more privacy here.”

Jared stood to the side, away from the two men now. Arms wrapped around his middle protectively and Chad moved toward him causing him to back up “Jay let me help you, you’re shaking.”

“No. I’m fine.”

Chad stared for a few seconds before nodding and backing off “Ok. Ok Jay....we will be outside if you need us ok?”

Jared nodded without looking up, arms wrapped so tightly around he looked like he would break into pieces if he were touched. Jensen took a step toward him, and Jared stepped back, shaking violently and not looking up.

“For gods sake Jared, please.....please let us help you. I just want to help you baby please.”

Jared never looked up but continued to shake his head almost violently now, “No....no....dirty....please I need to get clean...please go.....please, oh god Jensen please go please....”

It was the tears in Jared’s voice that finally broke Jensen’s heart and with a last look at the broken man trying so hard to keep it together he backed out of the room, vision blurred as he stumbled out the bedroom door closing it behind him and sinking to the floor leaning against the wall opposite.

Thirty minutes later, the water in the shower was still running and Jensen was still in the same position as Chad came down the hall and sat down beside him.

“He ok?”

Jensen didn’t look away from his watch on the bedroom door, just nodded briefly, “Yeah, seems to be, I have gone in to check on him a couple times, just asked from the bathroom door if he is alright, he just says he is fine and he will be out in a few minutes......but he hasn’t come out yet.”

“I’m sorry Jensen.”

Jensen turned his head to look in surprise at Chad, “What for?”

“I did a piss poor job of protecting him from this.....I don’t know what’s happened but...”

“It’s pretty fucking obvious what’s happened Chad. That Bastard......he did this to him.....he.....” Jensen swallowed “He is going to pay; I swear to god I’m going to make him pay somehow, but first we have to get Jared away from here, out of this fucking city and take him home....then....then I make that bastard pay.”

Chad studied Jensen for a moment before looking down t his hands, “Jensen, I swear to you, I will make sure Robert pays somehow but, you need to know, sometimes, sometimes its best to just walk away from people like him and be grateful you are able to walk away.”

“You cannot expect me to stand by after all of this?”

“I don’t know you very well Jensen, but I hope that I read you right and you care more than a little for Jared. Let me worry about Robert later and just concentrate on getting Jared patched up alright?”

“Oh like you took care of Robert all along huh? That’s why we are here now Chad, ‘cause you took such good goddamn care of Robert!”

Both men were on their feet and squaring off, hurt flaring in Chad’s face before he retaliated.

“We are here because of your psychopathic ex boyfriend! He was ok! He was safe where he was until you came along! You fucked this up, not me!”

“Hey hey hey!” Chris and Steve stood between the two men and Steve spoke, glaring at Jensen and Chad, “Look it’s been a long day, and I know you are both worried about Jared, and I don’t blame you. But dishing out blame now is not going to make this go away, it’s happened and now we deal with it! Now Jared is in there and obviously something is wrong, cause in case you two haven’t noticed, he has been inside that shower coming up to forty five minutes now! So which one of you is going to go in! Or would you both prefer if we let you tear each other apart while Jared continues to suffer in there!”

Jensen jerked himself out of angry haze and blinked at Steve briefly before nodding, looking at Chad apologetically he murmured “I’ll go” before walking to the bedroom door and opening it and quietly shutting it behind him.

The shower was still running but there was no sign of Jared in the bedroom, the bathroom door was ajar and Jared’s clothes were piled in a heap, just inside the bathroom door. He reached down to pick up the clothes he had previously ignored, and spotted the blood dotting the sweatpants.

“Jesus” It was a whisper as he scrunched the pants in his fists, pain and anger blinded him momentarily until a muffled sob broke through his thoughts and the running water and he turned his attention to the sound.

“Jared?”

No reply, just a choking sound coming from within and Jensen moved further in, “Jared? It’s Jensen, you ok in there?”

“Go away Jensen.”

Jensen stopped and regarded the door of the shower briefly, before taking one step forward and talking low and what he hoped was reassuringly “Jared? I’m going to open the door now, I’m coming in ok?”

There was no reply and Jensen tentatively slip the door across and his heart promptly broke again at the sight that greeted him. Jared was leaning heavily against the far wall of the shower, and cloth in his hand as he scrubbed hard at his skin. Tears were flowing freely down his face mixing with the now tepid water of the shower, and his skin was red raw from being scrubbed so hard. Reaching across Jensen turned the dial on the shower switching it off and faced Jared.

“Jared, come on dude, lets get you out of here huh?”

Jared shook his head, his hand still clutching the cloth and scrubbing hard, moving from his arms to his stomach and practically tearing at his skin, “No....not done.....dirty.....I’ve got to get clean......must get clean.”

Reaching behind him, Jensen grabbed a towel and the bathrobe he kept hanging on the door but never used and turned to face Jared once again. His eyes moved of their own volition down over Jared’s body and he prayed the horror and anger wasn’t showing on his face. Jared’s body from his thighs to his neck was nothing but a mass of bruises and deep bites. Scratches, some deep, ran the length of his chest over his nipples and on his thighs were a few particularly nasty ones along with purpling bruises and bites.

“Don’t look at me!” Jared voice was raw with horror and pain and Jensen jerked his eyes up to his face, “Jared, come on baby, this isn’t your fault, lets get you out huh?” Jared seemed to shrink even smaller and shaking his head violently turned his back to Jensen crossing his arms over his long body in a vain attempt to shield himself from his eyes. But what Jensen saw then had him swearing out loud before he could stop himself. Jared’s hair was wet and plastered to his head and the hair at the nape of his neck was parted revealing a bite that had obviously drawn blood it was so deep.

His back was a mass of scratches that Jared could not have done himself and on his hips were huge purple bruises and etched into his skin were thick fingerprints. His ass hadn’t gone unscathed and was marked with more bruising and bites and Jensen didn’t have to see to guess where the blood on his sweatpants had come from.

“Please don’t look at me Jensen.....God please don’t look.” The pain coming from Jared’s wrecked voice shattered Jensen’s already fragile demeanour and he practically buckled as he tried to make his way in to where Jared was trying to blend into the wall. The first tears fell from his eyes as he looked at the man desperately trying to cover himself. “Jared, baby come on, lets get you out of here ok? It’s alright, I won’t look anymore I swear to you, just let me get you out of here before the others come in here.”

He reached out a hand and hovered over Jared’s shoulder, unsure whether it was ok to touch him or not and Jared turned to face him again, his eyes tortured and his hands convulsing around the cloth he still clutched in them. “I can’t get clean Jensen.....I need to get clean.....but I can’t.....why can’t I get clean......I need to get it off me.....the dirt.....why can’t I get clean?”

“Baby you’re clean, you’re clean. Come on now....” Reaching out he gently but firmly removed the cloth from Jared’s tight hold and dropped it, not letting go of the hand Jared tried to pull out of his grip. “It’s ok Jared, It’s going to be ok I swear.”

Jared shook his head, his eyes shut tight as tears fell and he gasped “No...it’s not....it’s not ok....it won’t ever be ok again.....I fucked up.....I’m dirty and I can’t get clean......” Jensen went to his knees as Jared dropped sobbing openly now, pulling a weak Jared into his arms he held him close as Jared fought against him crying and raging. He held him tight as Jared finally stopped fighting and his hands clutched Jensen’s now wet shirt and pulled himself closer as Jared buried his head in Jensen’s chest, sobs muffled. Jensen’s throat was tight with tears that fought to be freed, but he refused to let anymore fall. He just hung onto the man in his arms and rocked and shushed as Jared slowly calmed down.

“Jared, baby come on, let’s gets you out of here and dried and dressed ok? Chad is worried and he is gonna come in here and kick my ass out and take over soon.” His weak attempt at humour didn’t draw a response, but Jared shifted away and Jensen helped him to his feet and together they made their way out of the bathroom and onto Jensen’s bed.

Jared remained silent as Jensen gently rubbed a towel over his body and then focused on his hair. He was silent as Jensen rooted for and found a pair of baggy cotton shorts and helped Jared put them on. He was robotic in his movements as Jensen gently ushered him under the covers and didn’t even flinch when Jensen softly pushed his bangs from his forehead as he sat beside him talking softly, nothing specific, just nonsensical things that popped into his head. Finally Jared blinked once and looked up at Jensen,

“Can I talk to Chad please?”

Jensen nodded, squashing down an irrational hurt that Jared had looked for the other man, he was like a brother to Jared for gods sake, and someone Jared trusted implicitly. “Ok sure babe, do you want me to fix you something to eat?”

Jared shook his head and pushed himself up to sit against the pillows, exhaustion etched in every line on his face and the way he held his body.

“Ok but I’m gonna go get you something to drink alright? Water? Juice?”

“Water would be good thanks.”

“Ok.”

He moved in automatically to place a kiss on Jared’s forehead, and Jared flinched away like he had been burnt, eyes averted. Jensen took a deep breath and stood, “I will just go get that water.”

He left the room and found Chad pacing outside the door, Steve and Chris watching anxiously. Chad stopped when Jensen emerged and Jensen gestured into the room.

“He is asking for you.”

Chad nodded silently and wet straight in, shutting the door behind him, effectively cutting out the outside world. Chris pushed off the wall and threw his arm over Jensen’s shoulder, “Come on Jen, looks like you could do with a stiff one.”

“I must get a drink for Jared, he needs water.”

Steve shook his head, “I will go get it, and you go sit and have a drink before you fall down.”

It was an hour before Chad emerged from the room. His eyes were red rimmed but dry and didn’t speak until he had taken one stiff drink in one swallow and sat down with number two facing the three exhausted men. Jensen spoke first,

“How is he?”

“He is asleep.” Chad’s voice was shot with pain, anger and the effort it had taken not to break down and cry as he and Jared had talked.

Chris cleared his throat before speaking “Jensen told us about the blood, he needs a doctor Chad.”

Chad shook his head, “No. He doesn’t, I had a look at him.....” Jensen’s eyes widened before narrowing in a fit of jealousy he couldn’t control, and Chad bristled “Look Jensen, he trusts me, I’m family to him and he needed someone to look, someone who knows about this sort of thing ok?”

Jensen turned his head away and nodded before turning back, “Is he ok? He was raped Chad, he should see a doctor.”

Again, Chad shook his head “No Jensen, the tearing is superficial, it’s all outer tearing, and .....God please...” He sighed and stood up, walking to the windows looking down onto the street below for a few minute before turning back.....

“You’ve got to understand how Robert worked.....it wasn’t rape in the sense of what you are thinking.......”He ran his hands through his hair and tried again. “He gave his consent. Jared gave his consent.”

Jensen was on his feet and in Chad’s face in seconds, “Don’t be fucking ridiculous! Have you seen the sate he is in? The marks, and scratches and bruises? He was fucking brutalised....and that bastard has to pay!”

“He threatened you!”

Jensen backed off with a frown, “What? Who threatened.....what?”

Chad turned away again and turned back, tears now evident in his eyes as he lost the battle with his emotions, “I fucked up.....I thought I was being so clever and I fucked up....Robert knew exactly what I was doing and when and where I did it....he knew I had gone to you and he knew you would come running.....he used it....he told him he would.....well he said he knew where you were and why you were here and he threatened you and I......I don’t matter so much, I can handle whatever he throws at me but you.....Jared knew what would happen to you if Robert followed through on his threat so he let him do what he wanted to him.....to spare you.....He did it for you.....”

Jensen backed away and fell onto a chair, his eyes wide as they stared in shock at Chad.

“He let him do those things? He......made himself a whore? To spare me?”

Chad eyes darkened with rage and he advanced, “Don’t you ever, ever call him that again. Ever! He cried, Jensen he is tearing himself apart in there cause he is sure you wont look at him the same when you know....I promised him you wouldn’t think that...I fucking promised him.....he didn’t ask for any of this and he tried....but that bastard took what mattered to him and used it against him.......he might not have forced Jared but he was raped in every sense of the word and don’t you ever call him that word again or so help me god......”

He back off before he gave into the urge to let his fist fly and visibly took a couple of deep breaths before turning to face Jensen again.

“Now before you even think about going in there and facing him, you decide if you can handle this, cause he can’t handle you looking at him like he is dirty and wrong.....you tell me now, and I take him out of here and we will be ok.....but I will be fucking damned if I let you think like that around him. He doesn’t deserve it! You made him love you, he is in love with you goddamnit, don’t you turn your back on him now!”

He moved toward the bedroom again and turned back, looking at the three men watching him with various looks of shock, anger and sadness in their eyes.

“Don’t come in there; just.....stay the fuck away from him if you can’t handle this. I can, and I will look after him. This isn’t his fault....we did this.....we did. Now we pick up the pieces and carry on. He is the one bright light in my miserable life and now......just....stay the fuck out until you decide what you can handle!”

Without another word, Chad entered the bedroom again and shut the door quietly behind him.

Chapter 24