Revenge

[magser]

Title: Revenge
Chapter:9 /?
Characters/pairings: Jared/Jensen ; Jensen/Mike; Jared/Omc's; Chad, Chris ; others
Rating: NC.17 (to be safe)
Wordcount:2,340
Disclaimer: Nope still don't own them.... unfortunately...
Summary: Nine years ago Jared had left Dallas and now he was back and he had only one thing on his mind..... Revenge.

Authors note: Thank you my three hand holders, Di, Lizzy and Bela who listen to me whine!

Of all the times Chad had been right....in all the situations he had ever had the chance to say ‘I told you so’ and actually said them with glee, cause lets face it, Chad Murray was no saint and if he got the chance to rub it in he damn well took it! But this one? This was one time he had fucking prayed to god he would get wrong. This situation here, he had seen coming a mile off, and while he was sorry as hell that Jensen had gotten hurt, and hurt he was, cause he had spoken to Chris, and he was aware how badly Jensen was taking this, he was worried as hell about his friend.

Jared wasn’t talking. Never in all the years away, no matter what the distance between them, Jared had always talked to him, no matter what it was, from the most trivial to his most inner thoughts, he had shared them with Chad. It was like Chad was his outlet, someone he knew and trusted and he always confided in him, Chad knew that man inside out. But now...Jared wasn’t talking and it scared him.

He hadn’t seen Jared since that night, the night it all went to hell, and the only account he had of it was the one he got when he called Jensens place and gotten Chris on the phone. Chris had explained as much as he knew, what Jensen had told him. Jared was the one that had alerted him that something had gone down with the call he had made to Chad at five in the morning. The only reason he had known it was Jared at all was the caller id., all he had gotten down the phone was a hoarse and barely understandable ‘’It’s done’’, it had taken Chad a good twenty minutes of constantly ringing Jareds cell, before he eventually got Jareds location from him and he had gone straight there and brought Jared back to the apartment.

What had killed him the  most was that all those years may as well not have happened at all, Jared was shaking uncontrollably and what was worse were the silent tears that had been flowing down his face as if he didn’t even realise he was crying. For the second time in his life Chad had slept in the same bed as a man, wrapping himself around the big man who had looked so small curled in a shaking ball on the bed.

That had been a week ago, a week since he had woken and Jared had been gone, a short note thanking him and letting him know where he would be, that he just needed some time alone. Now it was Sunday morning, and Chad was sipping a coffee as he stared out the patio doors, wondering what do to, he was due in Austin on Tuesday to begin filming, but he just didn’t feel right going and not knowing if Jared was ok. It was stupid he knew, Jared knew how to contact him, and he would be straight there if Jared called, but, he couldn’t help but feel like he was abandoning Jared. A sharp knock to the door shook him from his thoughts and wondering who the hell that was so early, he wandered to the door, swinging it wide and his mouth falling open in surprise.

Jensen.

Wow, had to be said Jensen looked like shit, his face had a grey pallor to it, his eyes looked  huge in his face and there was dark rings under them, his normally shining perfectly groomed hair was just lank and he wore the most desperate, pleading look on his face.

Jensen was more than a little nervous, he knew how close Chad and Jared were, and he wouldn’t be surprised if Chad hit him, god knows he wished he would. He might feel better, but all he got was a look of surprise and the door opening wider as he moved to let Jensen enter.

‘’What are you doing here Jensen?’’

There was no malice in his words, just a guarded question, and Jensen was actually kinda glad Jared had someone like this looking out for him. He knew the only chance he had of getting to Jared was through Chad.

‘’I just want to talk Chad, please?’’

‘’Coffee? Just brewed?’’

‘’Ahhhh sure...’’ the last thing Jensen wanted was coffee, but it gave both men time to gather their thoughts so they moved to the kitchen and Chad indicated a seat at the table and poured Jensen a coffee before sitting down opposite him.

‘’What do you want Jensen? He isn’t here.’’

‘’I know Chad, I know he isn’t here, I.... god I don’t even know why I’m here..I’ve spent the whole week lying around feeling sorry for myself and.... I don’t want to do that anymore...I need to talk to Jared. I need to understand...’’

‘’Understand what? Why he did what he did? Why he never really got over you?’’ At the surprised look on Jensens face Chad scoffed, ‘’Oh come on Jensen, please don’t tell me you thought Jareds actions were of a man that hated you? I know Jared had himself convinced of that but I thought you were smarter than that’’

Jensen sighed and dropped his head, ‘’I cried like a baby for two days, Chris was gonna call a doctor on me, he was that worried...but I got to thinking...Jared sure went to a lot of trouble to get to me you know? He lied didn’t he? He doesn’t hate me at all...he loves me, I’m sure of it’’ He looked at Chad then and saw nothing but respect in Chads eyes as he regarded him,

‘’And what does that have to do with me Jensen? Why are you here?’’

‘’Because, the more I thought of it, the more I came to realise that I could wait till hell froze over and Jared isn’t gonna come back to me is he? He won’t come to me and ask me to stay, ask for us to try?’’

Chad shook his head, ‘’No he wont, but do you know why?’’

‘’Yes’’ a whisper, ‘’Because of me, because of what I did all those years ago, I damaged him that badly, I hurt him that badly? He came to me then and asked me, he wanted us to stay together, he forgave me he said for the video, but he just wanted me to love him and I didn’t, I turned him away...I did this to him, I deserved what he did to me...but now...’’

Chad reached across the table then and grabbed Jensens wrist in a quick grip before letting it go again, ‘’No one deserves what Jared did to you, just as Jared never deserved what you and Tom did to him, Jared was....changed I guess, after that...thing is, he convinced himself it was hate, but it was as plain as day it wasn’t, to me anyway, I begged him to talk to you, to tell you...I spose you can see now, Jared isn’t as strong as he lets the world believe...inside he is just a scared, vulnerable kid, who had his heart broken and he never recovered from that.’’

‘’I did that’’ Jensen was distraught at the damage he had caused unknowingly, how was Jared ever going to get passed that? How could he expect him to....he was wrong to come here, it was stupid to think he could get through to Jared, Jared would be better off without him...

‘’Let me show you something’’ Chad rose from the table, indicating that Jensen follow, and he led him to the study that had always been locked when he was here with Jared. Chad opened the door easily and led Jensen inside and indicated to a wall over by the computer. The wall was covered in printed pictures, my god...Jared....

‘’He ran you know, right after that day in town when you turned him away? He stayed at my Moms place, he was shaking so badly and stuttered worse than I had ever heard...I put him into my bed and stayed the whole night with him...the following morning when I woke up my old shy friend was gone and...’’ He indicated to the pictures of a younger Jared ‘’This man was in his place, he shut down and he ran, and he has been running since.’’ Chad turned then and saw the stricken look in Jensen eyes;

‘’I’m sorry, I don’t mean to make you feel bad, I just want to you understand. Jared spent the last nine years running, we never lost touch, and he sent me a picture of almost every country he has been in and worked in,’’ He showed Jensen picture after picture, Jared in various poses in various states and countries around the world. In each picture from the years past you could see the man emerge from the boy that had left, and Jensen wondered not for the first time how had he never recognised him at all, it was all there in his eyes, everything, no matter how he grinned in those pictures his eyes were telling their own tale. There was one picture of him that looked different though, a picture that looked like it was taken in France, there was another man with him, it looked like a recent picture and the man with him was incredibly handsome and was smiling at Jared like he hung the moon as Jared had obviously just turned his face toward the camera, and his eyes were shining, there were no shadows, he looked happy. He fingered the picture and the smiling man, Jared had never smiled at him this way, his eyes had never been shadow free like that.

‘’Thats Sebastian’’ Chad smiled ruefully ‘’He was the closest Jared came to, to burying his past, to forgetting and maybe settling down, but he... he ran, again....just like he did every time anyone got too close...He looks happy there doesn’t he? That was taken a year ago, before he came back and wrote the book...Sebastian adored the ground Jared walked on and I think Jared genuinely was very fond of the guy, you can see how happy he made him, but, he just....he wasn’t you Jensen, he wasn’t you...’’

Jensen was stunned by Chads words, and Chad smiled sadly ‘’Don’t you see? This was never about revenge, he convinced himself it was, but, he loves you, too much I think, Jared is the type of guy that only ever falls in love once in his life, and he fell in love with you and no matter how far he ran and how he tried to escape that he couldn’t. I think he finally realised that, so he decided to come back here and show himself you hadn’t changed, he needed to prove to himself that you were the same selfish prick he had convinced himself you were, and maybe, just maybe he would rest then, lay you to rest, forget and move on. But it didn’t work, you weren’t a selfish prick, you turned out to be just the man he had always wanted and to make it worse you were sorry. You weren’t meant to be sorry.... it killed him... he couldn’t handle it, and he lashed out at you and ran again...’’ He held up a hand to stop the question that he knew Jensen was going to ask, ‘’No he didn’t tell me all this Jensen, he hasn’t told me what went down that night, I know what Chris told me and the rest?’’ He handed the photo of Jared to Jensen, ‘’I know him, inside out, I know him, He is the brother I never had and I know him and I know this is what happened, and you are right, he will never ever come to you again.’’

He placed his hands on Jensens shoulders then and gave them a little shake; ‘’you and I both know what you have to do don’t we?’’ Jensen nodded silently, tears in his eyes at the respect and trust in Chads, ‘’You have to go get him, you have to convince him that you love him, that he is worth loving, that he is the man you want, you need to be damn sure Jensen, cause it wont be easy, and he may just fight you, if he has any fight left, Jared is not the cocky man you think he is, he is scared and hurting and has been for years, this Jared  believes what you said when you said you could never love him, and now it’s up to you to change his mind, make him believe you Jensen, and...bring my friend back.’’

Jensen nodded, overcome at Chads words and scrubbed a hand over his face to collect himself, Chads next words brought him back to reality, fast;

‘’Jensen? Let me warn you, if I’m wrong about you? If you destroy him again? There isn’t a place you can hide, because believe me my friend, I will find you and I will kill you myself, understand?’’

‘’I love him Chad, I just want the chance to make this right, please...let me make this right?’’

Chad nodded and grinned then, ‘’Know what? Jared don’t even know it, but he has stopped running.’’

Jensen was confused and his frown made Chad grin wider, ‘’He couldn’t run, he tried to leave but he couldn’t, he is still here in Dallas, he is at home, with his parents. He doesn’t even realise that one of those demons are already gone and he is at home.’’

Jensen grinned then, a hopeful grin, that Chad returned;

‘’Go get him Jensen, make him believe you, and good luck’’

Jensen left the apartment a half an hour later, and headed back to his place, he needed to show Jared that he was sorry and he loved him and it was for real.

He could do this.

Chapter 10

Comments

[kes1807.livejournal.com]

*pets them both* Go get him Jensen and you better convince him you love him:D

Awww I love Chad in this fic, he's great and I hope he's right and that they can sort this out and be happy:D

Loving it, can't wait for more.

*smishes*

[magser.livejournal.com]

Chad is awesome isnt he...hehehe I kinda like him..I like the idea that big ol tough Jared is just a scared kid who needs his best friend... dont worry we will see some more Chad...