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magserChapter:7 /?
Characters/pairings: Jared/Jensen ; Jensen/Mike; Jared/Omc's; Chad, Chris ; others
Rating: NC.17 (to be safe)
Wordcount:2,250
Disclaimer: Nope still don't own them.... unfortunately...
Summary: Nine years ago Jared had left Dallas and now he was back and he had only one thing on his mind..... Revenge.
Dawn was casting its light through the cracks in the curtains as Jared eased himself out of the bed, careful not to wake the sleeping man beside him. He padded naked to the bedroom door, stopping along the way to pick up a pair of baggy sweatpants and an old t shirt. At the door he gave a quick glance back toward the bed and the sight of Jensen as he lay sleeping soundly, exactly where Jared had left him, thrown on his stomach, one leg hanging off the bed, one arm underneath his head and the other stretched across the bed as if seeking out Jared. He bit down on his bottom lip as he looked at the sleeping man and turned for the bathroom, closing the door behind him.
Five minutes later he was standing underneath the spray, hair plastered to his head as he braced two hands on the wall and stood head bent down, lost in his own head and replaying the last few hours in his mind. It was barely dawn, and Jensen had only fallen into an exhausted sleep two hours ago. Jared hadn’t slept; he had lain there in his bed, arms resting behind his head as he had regarded the man sprawled across him. He smiled under the spray as he remembered the way he made Jensen scream, he had made the man incoherent with want as he had begged Jared to let him come as Jared had teased him mercilessly. Jared shifted in the shower, lifting his head to let the water fall directly onto his face as he remembered the touches, bodies grinding, lips seeking, mouths over hard flesh, sucking at nipples, sucking marks into skin, biting their way across each others bodies, as Jensen gave as good as he got, the feeling indescribable as Jensen had taken his cock into his glorious mouth and sucked like his life depended on it, the feel of Jensen underneath him as his lubed fingers sought out and found Jensens hole and fingered him open, brushing his prostate and reducing him to incoherent babble as he writhed in Jareds arms. The intense pleasure of finally sinking into Jensens body in one full thrust, Jensen pushing back as Jared thrust forward, no gentleness wanted or needed, as they thrust against each other hard and fast, the feel of Jensens cock in his hand as he had held it firm withholding Jensens orgasm until he had begged for release the scream that had erupted from his mouth when Jared had finally relented and thrust even harder a few more times until finally his own release had ripped through him.
Jared smiled in satisfaction as he remembered that they had lain sated and blissed out for a while and then they had started all over again, and he was pretty damn sure Jensen would be feeling Jared for days he had shown no mercy to Jensen and nor had Jensen looked for it. They were dynamite together, and it was a damn shame that this was gonna end sooner than he would like, because he was sure that he would never find a bed partner like Jensen again, they fit perfectly together as if, as if they were meant to be.... and maybe... maybe at one time he had believed that, but, not now....
He sighed as he dried himself off quickly, and just towel drying his hair enough to stop it dripping he headed for the kitchen and fresh coffee, bare feet not making a sound as he moved throughout the apartment. Fifteen minutes later he had resumed his usual seat inside the patio doors, watching as the sun finally rose fully and life started in the streets below. This had to end soon, it had to, he had taken Jensen in the most intimate way you could take any man and still the demons laughed at him, he felt no peace, all he felt was an itch under his skin as Jensen began to burrow himself under. He didn’t want to think about the laughter they had shared as they had fallen exhausted into a heap the last time, both barely able to talk and reduced to barely coherent whispers, the intimacy of the moment getting to Jared more than he would like. He couldn’t let Jensen do this to him again, he wouldn’t.
He felt this overwhelming urge to talk to someone, and he was suddenly glad Chad was returning soon, it was funny, for a man who had spent nine years being a wanderer, and spending the majority of his time alone, he had come to depend on his chats with Chad very much. His friend didn’t approve of what he was doing and he had made that clear, but he had said he would stand by Jared whatever he chose to do, warning him that it was his own heart on the line as well. But Chad was wrong, he had to be, Jareds heart was not in danger, cause it had been irreparably damaged nine years ago and he honestly didn’t think there was anything there any more to break.
He had met many men and some women on his travels, he smiled as he recalled one particular man he had gotten to know in France, the French man had to be the most kinkiest sex he had had in his life, and he had been such a lovely guy, and Jared had thought for a time that maybe, maybe his heart had a chance, but, the usual urge to run had overtaken him at the thoughts of letting himself get too close to someone and he had done just that, run.
But god he was so tired of running, he wanted to stop so badly, wanted to put down roots somewhere, and he would, just as soon as he got this done, he would. Jensen was the key here, he knew that now, he had to lay this ghost to rest and then maybe he could sleep again. The thoughts just ran in circles in his head as he sat there for a few hours, just watching the world wake up and go by until exhaustion finally drove Jared back to the bedroom and into the bed.
Jensen had completely taken over the huge bed, impossibly sprawled across its width and Jared felt a small grin tug at the corner of his mouth as he fought to get into the bed and under the covers without disturbing the older man and ten minutes later he was sound asleep, unconsciously curling himself around the older man and as Jensen turned toward his heat and wrapped himself in Jareds arms with a contented sleepy sigh, Jared nestled closer falling into a deeper sleep and sleeping better than he had in years.
What followed for both men were without a doubt the best three weeks of Jensens life and the worst, most confusing of Jareds.
For Jensen, he was completely lost in Jay and he knew it. He knew next to nothing about Jay, except that he and Chad had a very close friendship and he had seen unspoken words and glances between the two on the many occasions he spent over at Chads. It was obvious that Chad worried about Jay, was concerned, he saw the look on his face many times as he regarded Jay. He wanted to know why, he wanted to know what Chad knew, he wanted to be as deeply involved and more, but Jay effectively blocked Jensens every attempt with either a subtle change of conversation or with kisses and god sometimes the resulting blow jobs from Jay were so worth the battle.
Jay had begun to spend a lot of time at his place, he got on famously with Chris, both sharing a wicked sense of humour, and when he was around Chris and Jensens other bandmates and friends he saw a side to Jay he never saw otherwise, a carefree, happy, at ease man, who was comfortable in himself enough to take a verbal licking from Chris and give it right back double.
Days were spent in various ways. They spent mornings at the coffee shop, sharing the newspaper, Jay reading the world news and sometimes he spoke wistfully about his travels and the countries he had lived in, and at those times Jensen felt uneasy, he was afraid he would wake up one morning and Jay would have taken off again, on his travels and Jensen would be lost. It was on these mornings that Jensen was most tempted to tell Jay exactly how he felt, he had never told someone he loved them before and he knew he loved Jay, it was stupid and it was crazy because he knew nothing about him, but he knew enough to know he loved him. He hadn’t told him though, not yet, something stopped him, something in Jays eyes everytime he geared himself up to say it, but he was most tempted at those times in the coffee shop.
Afternoons and evenings were spent alternatively between sound checks and rehearsals or dodging Chris and the guys to escape laughing and just walking. They walked almost everywhere, just talking and bumping shoulders every so often, they had found many an interesting bar or cafe or restaurant on their many walks.
Jay he found was an interesting conversationalist, telling amusing stories, he had many from his travels and he always had Chris doubled over with laughter as they drank beer late into the night after a gig or thrown around Jensens place. The love they made was spectacular, and Jay was attentive and inventive and took control every single time. Jensen gave as good as he got he knew that but, an incident bothered him.... He and Jay had been in bed and things were going great, the petting was hot and heavy and Jay had Jensen spread so wide open with just his fingers and it had felt so good, he had just wanted to let Jay feel as good as he did, but Jay had frozen when Jensen had touched his hole with his finger and told Jensen in a voice as cold as ice never ever to touch him like that again.
Jay had spent a good hour alone in Chads living room, sitting in that chair just staring out into the night, before Jensen had gotten up the courage to go out to him. He had tentatively apologised before Jay had stopped him, pulling him into his lap and burying his face in his neck and telling him it was ok, to forget it, it was something he didn’t want to discuss. But Jensen really really wanted to get his hands on the man that had hurt Jay so badly he refused to be touched like that.
Jared was fucked. He knew that now, he didn’t love Jensen, no he didn’t. But he was in so deep and he had been fighting the urge to run so badly for days now that he felt he was choking on it. Jensen was completely unlike what he had thought he would be what he should have been. This Jensen was warm and funny and caring, loved to laugh, was just this side of shy and rolled his eyes a hell of a lot at the antics he and Chris got up to.
He wasn’t blind, he wasn’t stupid, he could see Jensen loved him, it shone out of his eyes, and he had held his breath many times as he watched Jensen fight with the words he so wanted to say. Cause he knew, he knew as soon as those words were out of Jensens mouth he was gone, he was done, the game was over and won. It was what he was waiting for.... wasn’t it? He refused to question the horrible sick feeling he got in his stomach when he saw Jensen fight those words, the plea he knew Jensen saw in his eyes and he knew it was what was stopping Jensen. He had sworn Jensen would pay and pay he would.
But as the weeks went on and he got to know the man the boy had become, logic told him he was wrong, he couldn’t, shouldn’t do this. Chad had begged him more than once to talk to Jensen, tell him the truth, Jensen wasn’t the same person he was then, Chad just knew it. But no one knew the deep seated fear that Jared lived with, he didn’t want to see that look in Jensens eyes again, he couldn’t risk what was left of his heart to the man that had broken it to begin with. Cause no matter what people thought of him, he just wasn’t strong enough.
In fact, Jared had kept a packed bag in the trunk of his rented car for the last few days; he was that close to bailing. He had even driven as far as the city limits one time, desperation and fear and something else he didn’t want to examine overtaking him for a time, before the memory of that day had come to the fore and he had stopped. He had turned back around and come back, back to finish what he was here to do. What he had to do.
So it was ironic that the night it all went to shit he was the least prepared for it.
chapter 8
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Man Oh Man...
Date: 2008-11-19 07:58 pm (UTC)Funny how Jared said that perhaps once he does this, he'll be able to sleep without the Demons taunting him and yet, he had the best sleep of his life in Jensen's arms! Proof!! You had so many good points in this story and my heart clenched when Jensen thought to himself of killing the man who broke Jared's heart when, ironically, the man is him! And Jared needs to realize that we all make horrible mistakes we wish we can take back. I KNOW Jensen will do everything in his power to make it right if only Jared could stop being so selfish and tell him! Only then will the Demons be put to rest. Update soon!;D
Re: Man Oh Man...
Date: 2008-11-19 08:02 pm (UTC)Almost Forgot!
Date: 2008-11-19 08:43 pm (UTC)Evanescence-October
Re: Almost Forgot!
Date: 2008-11-19 08:49 pm (UTC)I do have a song I am blatently using in the next chapter that is from Jensens point of view....this one though is perfect for Jared...
YAY!
Date: 2008-11-19 09:05 pm (UTC)