magser | Release Me

Title:Release me
Chapter: 4/?
Author:

magser
Pairings:Jared/omc; eventual Jared/ Jensen ; Chris Kane and others
Disclaimer: I'm sorry to say neither of the pretty boys belong to me.....
Rating:NC17
Summary:Jared Padalecki is a good man,trapped in a dead marriage,what happens when he falls in love with someone else?What will he do when forced to choose between the husband he feels he owes and the man who owns his soul?
Word count :1,624
Authors note: This is completely un-betaed , all mistakes are my own stupid fault!

One hour and two beers later, and Jared was feeling pleasantly buzzed. Two beers shouldn’t affect him like this, but it had been a long time since he had had a drink as Mark didn’t seem to like him drinking much but he wasn’t gonna tell Chris that much... And anyway, Mark hadn’t come right out and said it, he had just gotten the message clearly when he got the disapproving looks and small remarks that were passed if Jared mentioned having a beer. So he found it easier and simpler if he stayed away from it and it was definitely easier to handle Marks drunk self with a clear head.

Jensen he found, was a genuinely great guy, who was shy at first meeting, but given time and some good conversation he found hid a great sense of humour, and had the most infectious laugh he had ever heard. They had spent the best part of the last hour laughing and joking, stories flying back and forth between the three men as if to see who could be embarrassed the most, which unfortunately turned out to be him.

They had plucked on the string of the two guitars every now and then, singing the odd tune and keeping it light. It had been such a long time since Jared had felt so relaxed. He found to his surprise that he and Jensen had taken up a light hearted banter between the two of them, which was completely unforced and natural and it felt so good to be able to just stop and be himself for a while.

A temporary lull in the conversation had Chris again pluck a tune on the guitar and starting to sing softly, a song which Jared recognised with surprise was ‘Hungry Eyes’. He sang it softly and slowly and completely unlike the way the song was normally heard on the radio and soon enough Jensen joined in even more softly and began picking up the words along with Chris.

Jared was completely mesmerised. He physically could not take his eyes off of Jensen. The man’s intense green eyes held his firmly as he sang and it didn’t take a genius to figure out what he was trying to say with a song.

And oh god how Jared wanted, he wanted to so badly it was becoming an ache, and as large green eyes stared into shocked, frightened and awed gold-hazel eyes ,neither man noticed that Chris was no longer singing or even playing, and was regarding the two men with a smile and a tinge of sadness, and that Jensen was now singing alone.

There was no way, Chris knew, that is was ever gonna end good, and for the first time he wondered if he had done the right thing introducing these two, Mark had too tight a hold on Jared and it was like watching a car crash in the making. But the awareness crackled in the air between the two men like electricity and with a sigh, Chris realised that there was no way of stopping what he knew was about to happen.

As Jensen played the last note, he seemed to realise that he had spent the entire song with his eyes glued to Jareds face, and he looked away and cleared his throat.

‘’Anyone want more beer?’’ he asked almost desperately .

‘’Nah man, I’m good’’ Chris replied ‘in fact, I’m beat, I think I’m gonna turn in for the night, guys’’

‘’You hanging around for a bit tomorrow Jay?’’

Jared started at the sound of his name and realised with a flush that he had been sitting there gazing at Jensen the whole time ‘’ what? Oh...’ and the mention of him hanging around and the realisation that he had a husband and a life elsewhere was like having cold water thrown in his face... ‘’ Um, i dunno, Mark is due back early Friday morning Chris, I should get back early tomorrow’’

‘’ But tomorrow is only Thursday man, surely you can hang around till at least evening huh?’’

‘’I dunno Chris, sometimes Mark gets back earlier if he can and he likes when...’’ He broke off when he realised he was making it sound like Mark controlled, when he didn’t... he really didn’t...

‘’Sure man, I can leave after lunch, hows that?’’

‘’Great! See you in the morning then jay’’ And Chris disappeared into the spare bedroom.

Jensen looked to be at a loss for words for a few minutes and the ensuing silence was strained until he suddenly blurted ‘’there is no way you’re gonna be comfortable on this couch man, you’re too big!’’

Jared just looked at him wide eyed for a moment and then grinned.

‘’ hey, it’s fine, honestly, I was a last minute addition tonight and you didn’t have to put me up, ‘sides no matter what I said, I really need to be getting away early tomorrow, no telling what traffic is gonna be like’’

He watched Jensen fiddle with his guitar for a few minutes before he said ‘’ hey, thank you’’

Jensen looked up in surprise, eyebrow raised ‘’for what? It’s no trouble putting you up man’’

‘’No, not just for that, for tonight, letting me help out behind the bar, and just hanging here, I don’t get to do that much, so yeah... thank you’’

Jensen seemed to struggle with himself for a few seconds, until he put down the guitar and turned and looked at jared as he sat on the couch only inches from him.

‘’Hey, can I ask you a question? It’s pretty personnel ...’’

‘’Sure’’

‘’Umm, there is no easy way to ask this so.... are you happy?’’

‘’What?’’ Jared asked ‘’ I had a great time tonight man, I just told you that ‘’ He answered deliberately misunderstanding the question, which he knew Jensen wasn’t buying for a second.

‘’No I mean, your marriage, is it good? I know this is a really loaded question to ask, and i have no right expect an answer cause you hardly know me, but... you just seem so different when you were behind that bar and sitting here with us, to when you first arrived’’

‘’yeah?’’

‘’yeah, I don’t know you that well, but, you seem like a really great guy, and people took to you, and Chris loves you like a brother, he worries about you... I guess by extension then I will too’’

Jared gave a small smile and head bent, he started to pick at the label on the beer bottle, he had no idea why he trusted this man so much, he had no idea what was going on between them, he had no intention of letting anything start, but, he wasn’t stupid, he could feel their connection and he knew Jensen did too, and Jensen was only being direct and honest and trying to explore what could be a good friendship, cause thats all this could ever be... a friendship.

‘’I have a man that is good to me, I have more in my life than most people ever dream of, you would think I would be happy huh?’’

‘’But you’re not’’ A statement, not a question.

Jared lifted sad eyes to Jensens face, and Jensen could see the conflict within their depths and he just waited, he knew he was asking too much asking something like this when he hardly knew the man, but he also knew that talking to someone you hardly knew was better than not talking at all, and Chris was way too protective and likely to do something stupid if he got a glimpse of this Jared sitting here.

‘’ I don’t know anymore’’ Jared whispered.

‘’Mark is good to me, he doesn’t abuse me, hell, I’d like to see him try at this stage, but...’’

‘’But what?’’

‘’I just thought, I just ... I want to do something... be someone, have a job, work with kids... when I was in college, I was so damn happy, I looked forward to getting out and starting my life and now...’’

He wiped a hand over his face and looked to Jensen again... ‘’I’m sorry, I shoudnt be landing this on you ‘’

‘’Hey, I asked remember?’’

Jared smiled again, and moved a fraction closer without even realising what he was doing.

‘’what is it about you, that has me questioning everything about me?’’

Jensen leaned closer a fraction and whispered ‘’ Cause you feel it too, this ... thing between us’’

‘’I’m married Jensen, I’m not the cheating kind’’

‘’I know’’

‘’This is wrong’’

‘’I know’’ a fraction closer, close enough now to see the flecks of gold that shone in wide hazel eyes.

‘’God please... don’t do this to me Jensen ‘’ A whispered plea.

‘’One thing Jared... there is one thing you haven’t said’’

‘’what?’’

‘’You haven’t said you love him’’

It was enough , to break the spell and Jared jerked away like he had been burnt, and stared wide eyed at Jensen.

‘’I’ll get you some blankets and a pillow’’ Jensen said softly and looked at Jared a second longer before moving to get the supplies for the couch.

When he returned five minutes later, having collected himself, Jared was still sitting in the same position a look of shock on his face.

‘’sleep well Jay’’ He said, before walking away and entering his bedroom and shutting the door behind him.

He leant against the door and pressed his forehead against it for a few minutes before forcing himself to move and climb into bed.

When he got up the following morning the blanket and pillow lay where he had left them and Jared was gone.

Current Mood: anxious

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

alena2b.livejournal.com

you know how i feel about it.. about every chapter you write. about the feelings that build up in me just by reading...

awesome chapter!

From:

Release Me

Expand Cut Tags

Page Summary

Style Credit