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Someone Else's Life
Chapter: 19/?
Wordcount:2,980
Characters, Pairing: Jared/Jensen, Chad, Sandy, Chris, Steve/Sophia, Patrick Dempsey, Robert Wisdom, David Boreanaz, mentions of Jared/omc; Jensen/ David .
Summary:Jared Padalecki is a young man living hand to mouth, trying to save the only two friends he has in the world. Jensen ackles is a man with a broken heart and dented pride, and enters Jareds life long enough to leave him with a drawing and a dream of what Jared could have had. When one of Jareds friends dies tragically, Jared is left with no choice but to run, and ends up living a life that isnt his, a life that he can never have. What happens when Jensen finds Jared living in the house meant for the fiance that broke his heart, and can they come to an arrangement that suits them both?
Authors note: I just wanted to appologise for not replying to all the fantastic comments in the last chapter.....Life is hectic lol, but I have new chappie to make up for it! I really love to hear what you guys think so please don't stop commenting!
Oh and I think at this late stage I should thank and grovel at the feel of the gorgeous
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kes1807 , who reads through all my chapters for me and reassures me everytime!The sun was high in the sky when Jared woke the following day. He had those first few seconds of blissful ignorance before memories of the day before came crashing through. Mark....Jensen returning....Mark beating him again...oh God Jensen intervening and Mark being led away.....he recalled the fear and the positivity that Jensen would turn his back and then Jensen’s patience and understanding, no matter how hard he pushed. Grief settled briefly as images of him telling Jensen the whole story flashed through his head and afterwards....here....in this room.....he groaned when he tried to move, his body stiff and sore from the beating it had taken the day before.
With effort he pushed himself up against the pillows so that he was in a half sitting position and glanced around. No sign of Jensen and a look at the time told him it was almost noon. He leaned back and closed his eyes and let his aching body adjust. His ribs hurt like hell and his lower back where Mark had viciously kicked him was also making its displeasure known. The new bruises and aches along with the rest he had accumulated over the five days he had Mark here accounted for his stiffness this morning and he was well aware from lessons past that it would be a good week or two before he was up for anything heavy.
He smiled slightly his eyes still closed as he remembered the way Jensen had held onto him last night. So solid yet so gentle, never taking things as far as Jared had initially wanted but simply holding onto him, reassuring him with soft touches and gentle kisses until Jared had fallen into an exhausted sleep.
“Well it’s good to see a smile, even a half one.”
Jared turned his head at the sound of Jensen’s voice and the sight of the other man leaning against the doorjamb watching Jared had his cheeks reddening slightly.
“Care to share the reason for the would be smile? Or will I stick to my dream that it was my wonderful self that caused it?”
Jared’s couldn’t help the smile that broke out on his face and he ducked his head before raising it to watch Jensen venture further into the room and sit on the bed beside him.
“I think I will keep my reason to myself for now, don’t want any swelled heads now do we?”
Jensen grinned and leaned in for a kiss, “Yeah I guess you’re right. Good morning by the way, or I should say, good afternoon.”
“You should have woken me, it’s late.”
“Nah, you were exhausted, besides, it gave me a chance to sort out a few things.”
“Sort out what things?”
Jensen smiled and reached out to brush Jared’s hair off his face almost absently as he replied, “I called home, spoke to my Mom, how do you feel about heading down there? Just for a couple days? It will give you a chance to recover properly without having to be reminded that Mark was here...Mom is threatening to come get you herself if you don’t come home anyhow, so you might as well resign yourself to the fact that she wants to mother you for a few days.”
“Jensen I don’t know....”
“You don’t have to if you don’t want to you know. No one is going to force you to do anything ok? Just be warned, if you don’t turn up there she is just going to arrive here anyway. She is worried about you.”
Jared frowned slightly and shifted on the bed, grimacing when his aching muscles protested. “It’s just...I don’t want to leave here, in case....in case Chad shows up you know?”
Jensen nodded and sighed before smiling reassuringly and replying, “its ok I get it, I will call her back and let her know, but...I gotto warn you dude....I would expect her before morning at the latest.”
Jared smiled and nodded and made a move to leave the bed, needing the relief of a good shower, knowing it would help ease the ache.
“You ok? Want me to help?”
“No, I’m ok, really Jensen, I’m ok.”
“You sure ‘cause you’re looking kinda...”
“Jensen! I’m ok! Please.....just let me do this alright? I’m fine, I’m fine.”
Jensen backed away his hands raised and watched as Jared moved stiffly to the door, heading for the bathroom, before stopping and turning around, an apology on his lips. “I’m sorry...Jensen I’m sorry...but I’m ok really, I just need a good long shower and I will be fine...there is no need for you to worry or hover. I know you are only trying to help and I really appreciate it but....I can do this on my own ok?”
Jensen nodded and Jared smiled a small tight smile and disappeared into the bathroom, leaving Jensen standing in the middle of the bedroom, his hands shoved into the pockets of the jeans he wore, wondering what it was going to take for Jared to realise he didn’t have to do everything alone.
Telling Jensen his story was one thing, and he loved the fact that Jared had trusted him enough to tell him everything. But Jared was a long damn way from letting Jensen in. He was now convinced he had been right not to let things go so far in bed last night, no matter what Jared said, he wasn’t ready for the commitment of a full sexual relationship. Small steps, he would take small steps. All he could do was hang in there and wait. The little glimpses he got, when Jared did let down his guard for small periods told him it would be worth it.
*******************************
When Jared came downstairs 45 minutes later, Jensen was nowhere to be found. Wandering into the kitchen he found fresh coffee brewing and smiled to himself, knowing Jensen had to be nearby. He had obviously been listening out for Jared and brewed it when he heard him moving around upstairs. Pouring two mugs he went in search of him, his body already moving better, the ache eased somewhat by the spray of the shower.
He found Jensen in what he had discovered in his first weeks here, was a work room cum office of sorts. Bent over a desk, drawings spread out around him and glasses perched on the end of his nose as he studied the drawing in front of him. He raised his head and smiled absently when Jared entered the room, and moved in awkwardly, mug of coffee out in front of him like a peace offering.
“Poured you some coffee?”
Jensen nodded without taking his eyes from the drawing in front of him, damn thing had been driving him mad for weeks, nothing seemed to work and the clients were a bitch to deal with. There was just something off.....something small....if he could just.....
“Jensen?”
“Huh?”
“Jensen I....look, I’m sorry I snapped at you. I don’t mean to ok? I know you’re just trying to help.”
Jensen raised his head then and looked at Jared properly. He smiled and nodded, taking the coffee from him and sipping it as he glanced back down at the drawing in front of him.
“No problem Jared, I tend to get a bit heavy sometimes, it drove David mad too.”
“No!”
Jensen looked up, eyes wide.
“I’m not David ok? I’m nothing like him. It’s not that it drives me mad, it’s just...I’m not used to it...I’m used to looking after myself, that’s all. Its not you.”
“I’m sorry Jared, I didn’t mean to imply you are the same as him....I’m just not thinking I guess. I know you need some time, I understand.”
Jared shoved his hand through damp hair and huffed a breath.
“Look, how about we start this again ok?” Moving closer to Jensen he leaned down and kissed his mouth softly “Good morning”
Jensen smiled against Jared’s mouth, “Good afternoon, sleep ok?”
“Yes thank you.” Moving back then and taking in the drawings on the table he sipped his coffee and enquired, “What you working on?”
Jensen sighed as his mind was brought back to the problem at hand, “Oh I have these clients, they are looking for their building to be something that no one has seen before.....and I’ve almost got it, I’m sure of it....but....something just isn’t right you know? And they are damned hard to please....” He put the coffee mug down and turned to the drawing again, running his hand through already messed up spikes and shoving his glasses up his nose in an adorable move that made Jared want to kiss him senseless.
Moving to stand behind him and looking over his shoulder he admired the work.
“It’s beautiful Jensen.”
“Thank you....I just wish I could get the damn thing finished you know?”
Jared kissed the top of Jensen’s head in an absent fashion, still staring at the drawing in front of him. It was a truly beautiful building in the making, full of modern lines and edgy design. But Jensen was right, there was something missing.....Shifting suddenly, he moved away.
“Well I will get out of your way for a while, let you get some work done.”
Jensen nodded, his mind already back in the drawing in front of him, frowning at it as he made a few adjustments and eyed it critically. Jared watched him for a few seconds before moving out of the room and made a beeline for the room he had been using before Jensen arrived and found the backpack he had brought with him. He pulled a worn sketch pad from it and he went through the pages of drawings he had done throughout the years. Buildings he had seen in his mind or buildings he had seen on his travels and had to get down. He smiled to himself as he pulled out a pencil and started to sketch from memory, right there in the middle of the bedroom floor, his untrained eye remembering and drawing.
Two hours later, Jensen found him in that back bedroom, after having searched the house frantically. He was sitting in the middle of the room, sketchpad in his lap and balls of paper scattered around him. His tongue was planted firmly between his teeth and his hair looked like a hand had gone through it several times. His cheek was smudged with pencil and he was lost in concentration as his hand flew over the page.
“Jared?”
Jared jumped and looked up guiltily, shutting the pad and setting it behind him, looking up at Jensen like he had been caught with his hand in the cookie jar.
“What are you drawing?”
“Nothing.”
Jensen grinned and moved into the room and threw himself onto the floor in front of Jared, legs folded in front of him.
“Doesn’t look like nothing to me, can I see?”
Jared looked panicked for a second and shook his head, “No, Jensen they aren’t very good and I just....I like to draw sometimes is all. It’s nothing near as good as your work.”
“Please?”
And this was the first time, Jared would remember later on, that he realised he would never be able to say no to Jensen for very long, not when he looked at him like that. Slowly and silently questioning his sanity, he pulled the pad out from behind him and handed it reluctantly to Jensen, who had never taken his eyes from Jared’s apprehensive ones.
“I’ve never shown this to anyone before, ever. This was always something just for me you know? I’m not very good, but I like to draw, always have....buildings and places....” He trailed off and planted his hands on his thighs nervously as Jensen looked away and almost reverently opened the pad on the first page. His eyes widened with every page he turned. Some buildings he recognised from L.A., some were obviously Jared’s imagination and those were the ones that struck him. They weren’t perfect by any means, but there as something in them, running through every drawing he did. A kind of rustic feeling, a feeling of old mixed with new a hint of old fashioned ideas mixed with modern lines.
He stopped dead when he turned the page to the drawing Jared had been working on when he found him, “Is this....is this the building I was working on downstairs?”
Jared nodded guiltily, “Yeah...I’m sorry, but it was so beautifully done and.....I had this idea and I had to get it down.....”
Jensen stared at the recreation of his work, it was rough but it was wonderfully done and....it looked complete.....he stared harder his face set in concentration as he took in the slight adjustments and additions that Jared had added to it. Like the rest of his drawings, he had taken the modern and mixed in something essentially Jared, he had mixed the old with the new and Jensen knew instinctively that this was what he had been missing with this particular drawing. He looked up finally at Jared his eyes wide;
“Jared....this is.....”
“I know....I’m sorry...I shouldn’t have but....”
“No Jared this is wonderful! It’s perfect!” He leaned forward and planted a hard kiss on Jared’s surprised mouth, “Can I use this? Can I use your idea to finish this? It’s perfect Jared, so damn simple yet so perfect!”
Jared’s eyes were wide in his face as he stared at Jensen’s earnest one, his eyes shining with excitement, “Jared I will make sure you get credited for it I swear to you. Please? My clients will love this I’m sure of it!”
Jared nodded finally and Jensen whooped and threw his arms around Jared’s neck and kissed him passionately before leaping to his feet, pulling Jared with him.
“Awesome! Jare, this is so freaking awesome! We were meant to be together you know that? You and I will rule! Have you any idea how talented you are? Seriously?!”
As he spoke excitedly he dragged Jared through the house, back to the room he had been working in. Jared was still wide eyed and a little worried......his drawings had always been for him alone, he had never shown anyone and now Jensen wanted to use his idea to finish his work and what if it messed it up? What if his clients laughed at Jensen? What if he lost work because of it? What if......
“Jensen.....are you sure about this? I mean....I.....god Jensen this could fuck everything up for you.....”
Jensen turned then and placed his hand on Jared’s cheek, reassuring. “Jared, please don’t worry, I have a good head for these things, and a good eye. I rarely get this excited but you have no idea how talented you are, every one of these drawings you have done is so good and you already have your own style and it comes through. You’re good Jared, you’re damn good, and I’m going to make sure you get even better. We will talk about this later, but, Jared I think you should go back to school, college and you and I can go into business together even, whatever you want to do you can do! The possibilities are endless!”
“You believe in these drawings that much?”
“No. No Jared, I believe in you that much.”
Jared finally smiled then, a little unsure still but a genuine smile borne from Jensen’s belief in him, something he hadn’t had in god knows how long and nodded.
“Ok, ok, let’s see what we can do with this then huh? Let’s get this drawing done.”
*******************************************
Later that night, as they sat in Sophia’s bar, laughing and joking, both men felt lighter than they had in a long time. Jared leaned back in his seat and smiled as Jensen plucked at a guitar with Chris and Steve and sang soft low, harmonising and laughing with his friends. Their eyes met every so often and a quiet communication seemed to be going on between them. Something had shifted today, Jensen could feel it, and something had changed. Jared was more relaxed and at ease than he had ever known him, he watched Jensen with a look in his eye’s that Jensen had never seen before. There was a tension between them, building slowly and Jensen found himself suddenly sure that his declaration of belief in Jared, had changed something in the younger man, and he was fast revising his decision that Jared wasn’t ready. If the tension and chemistry crackling in the air between them was anything to go by, Jared was more than ready.
He was heading back to L.A. tomorrow, to meet with his clients and show them the completed drawing. He was 100% positive that they would love it, he didn’t plan on staying overnight, he was going to get back down here as soon as he was done. Looking back over in Jared’s direction he met his eyes and smiled. That look was back on Jared’s face and Jensen could feel it all the way to his toes. Putting the guitar down, and without taking his eyes from Jared’s he rose to his feet,
“Sorry guys, it’s time for us to go. I’ve got an early start tomorrow, need an early night.”
****************
Later that night, as Jared let down another wall letting Jensen ever closer to the bruised and healing heart he guarded so tightly, they made love slowly. And as Jensen entered Jared’s tight velvet heat, as he kissed his open mouth, as he stroked Jared’s length just right, as he lost himself in Jared’s body, Jensen’s other hand linked to Jared’s high above Jared’s head, both men coming within seconds of each other, and as they drifted into an exhausted sleep, they had no idea of the hell that was about to hit them head on.
They simply slept on oblivious.
chapter 20
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