Characters: Jared/ Jensen, Mostly Jensen (Jensens pov), a little Chris and mention of Jared,
Summary: This is I guess a time stamp from the fic Changes that I wrote at Christmas, about Jensen the multi award winning Singer and teacher Jared.... well this is set five years on, Jensen has gone on an eight month world tour with Chris, and hasn't seen Jared in forever. He has two months to go and is is pretty desperately missing him........based on Bon Jovi's "Bed Of Roses"
Rating: Umm it's pretty tame, Pg:17 I guess for kissing?
Oh and once again a massive thank you to my ladies Karen and Di who I really couldn't post without!
Jensen sat at the window, looking out into the streets below and wondered, not for the first time, how he ended up here, and why he had let Chris talk him into this. He would have been lying if he said he didn’t love every minute of the shows he was playing. From the second he stepped out onto that stage he forgot everything and everyone, for just a little while and revelled in singing and owning the crowd, the cheers, the screams and the singing along. That wasn’t the problem; the problem was the other twenty two hours of every day.
He missed Jared, he couldn’t seem to breathe without him, and he felt like he was slowly smothering and he needed air fast.
He needed Jared.
He rose to his feet and walked out onto the balcony, letting the cool night air act as a salve of sorts, the fresh breeze had him drawing in a deep breath and he felt lighter, just for a second. The sounds of Bon Jovi’s ‘Bed Of Roses’ drifted up as if to tease him, cause damn did he know how the man felt now. His heart, his whole damn soul was with Jared and if this tour didn’t end soon he would go mad from wanting and missing him so badly.
Again, he cursed Chris for talking him into this tour, Jared for encouraging him to go and himself for listening. Eight Months......eight damned months and he agreed. He hung his head as the song played on, they were six months in, only two months to go and he was free and then he was heading back to the ranch, sending Jim on an extended holiday, he was thinking till next year sometime, and locking Jared into the house and barricading them both inside until they had made up for the eight months they had spent apart. He groaned aloud as his thoughts wandered yet again to Jared, and his body reacted to the anticipation of laying Jared out on their bed and fucking him till they both couldn’t move.
Raising his head, he tilted it back, knuckles white on the rails as he let the breeze cool him again and somewhere down below the song drew to an end and he sighed in relief only to groan aloud as the opening bars could be heard again. Someone liked that damn song, but that someone didn’t know how close to the truth that song ran tonight.
He didn’t hear the door open, but he heard the giggling and Chris’s deep voice whisper a reply, no doubt something Jensen really didn’t need to know and he turned on the spot but made no move to leave his position on the balcony.
He watched as Chris wrapped himself around the tiny bottle blonde on his arm, his mouth moving along her neck, up to her perfectly made up lips and across to nibble at her ear, causing another fit of giggles.
Jensen rolled his eyes and took a few steps to pick up the glass of vodka he had left on the small table just inside the balcony doors, taking a sip and grimacing, as Chris raised his head and grinned unashamedly.
“Hey Jensen, I thought you would have joined the guys at the bar.”
Jensen shrugged and shook his head, “Nah, I’m beat, gonna give it a miss tonight.”
Chris detached himself from the blonde and tilted his head as he watched Jensen, “That’s becoming a bit of a habit Jensen, the guys are gonna think you don’t like them no more. Come on man, come on down with us, it was a great show tonight, we are totally rocking it as a duo, we should be celebrating!”
Jensen smiled, grateful for Chris’s support, he knew he would send the blonde away in a heartbeat if Jensen gave any indication that he wanted him to. He shook his head again, keeping the smile on his face but knew by the flash of sympathy in Chris’ that the smile hadn’t quite worked.
“I’m cool here Chris, I’m probably gonna shower and go to sleep anyway, I’m beat.”
“Did Jared call?”
“No, I haven’t heard from him since last week, he will be out of range for a few more days, with the mission moving. The fighting is intensifying and they want the kids out of harm’s way. He is ok though.” He made the reassurance quickly seeing the look of alarm that crossed Chris’ face.
It was the one thing that killed Jensen the most. When Chris had come to him with this idea of the two of them getting together and collaborating on an album and taking a show on a world tour lasting eight months, he had let himself be talked into it because he had assumed Jared would be here, or at least in the damn country and he would come out to whatever city he was playing in. But no.....Jared had to go and get it into his head, to use the time Jensen would be away to take a sabbatical from his teaching job and head back out to the missions he had come from five years ago, just before he had walked into Jensen’s life.
He had said, life on the road would have driven him mad, and while he would miss Jensen like a limb, he was going to put their time apart to good use and go where he knew his services would help kids. He loved Jared so damn much, but Christ sometimes he wished he wouldn’t be so hell bent on helping the world. That was five months ago, five damned long endless months ago, Jared had joined him for a few nights in New York, when they had played there, and then had headed out. Five Months.....it had been six since he had gone on the road and in that time he had seen Jared once, just for those two days. Jared had one more month and he was coming home and Jensen didn’t care if he went to hell for it, but he was damned if he was letting Jared out of his sight again. One more month and Jared would be back and he would be safe, back at the ranch, where he belonged. But god he missed him now, and the telephone calls, every night just added to the ache he felt in his gut the whole time Jared was gone.
He knew Jared felt it too, could hear it in his voice, he could hear the hitch in Jared’s breath that he tried so hard to cover up when they were saying goodnight. Jensen telling him to sleep knowing he was thinking of him, loving him, missing him. Whispering promises never to leave Jared again, never again to be apart and their plans to just lock the ranch up with them inside when they were together again.
Brought back to the present with a gentle cough from the blonde who was growing visibly impatient, he forced his smile wider and brighter and nodded to Chris’ impatient companion. “You go ahead Chris, I’m ok here.”
Chris looked unsure and made to argue but Jensen spoke first, “Seriously Chris, I actually could do with some time alone anyway, I was kinda enjoying watching the sights of London at night.”
Chris studied him for a moment and seemed to make up his mind and nodded, “Ok, if you’re sure?”
“Yes I’m sure! Now get the hell out of my room dude!”
Chris grinned and took a few steps towards Jensen and held out his fist, which Jensen returned with a knuckle brush of his own and smiled. “Go....have fun.”
Chris sent an exaggerated leer his way as he led the blonde out of the room “Oh I think I will man, I think I will!”
Jensen stood in the same position for a few moments after Chris left, just watching the door, his smile fading from his face. This wasn’t worth it; none of it was, not when Jared wasn’t here. If these last months had taught him anything, it had reaffirmed for him the fact that there was no way he could survive without Jared. He needed him, he loved him more than he thought possible and god he missed him. Missed his smile, his flash of dimples, his laugh, the easy way he could charm Jim, the love he had for his mother and his aunt, how much he loved life, how he embraced each day like it was his first and the joy he took in every little thing they did together, how he could light up a room just by smiling and god how he loved Jensen. He had spent every hour of the last five years showing Jensen in more ways than he thought possible how much he meant to him and Jensen was never left with any doubt whatsoever that he was blessed with this man’s love.
But Jared had also known how much Jensen had pulled back from the limelight, and while it was a decision that Jensen had made willingly, knowing he had done enough, Jared knew how much being on stage in front a huge crowd just gave Jensen a thrill he felt nowhere else. Well, least he thought so.....until now. Now he knew, that nothing meant more to him than never being apart from Jared ever again after this was over.
The strains of that damned song floated up once more and Jensen swore he was gonna find out who was playing that on repeat and strangle them himself. Walking out and again embracing the cool breeze and letting the song wash over him, he stood there for a few moments until a knock on the door pulled him from his thoughts.
Damn Chris.....he had his own damn hotel room, why couldn’t he just take the fucking blonde there and leave him to wallow in peace? He was a grown man damnit and he didn’t need a damned babysitter! He grumbled under his breath the whole way to the door and opened it with a “Seriously Chris I’m......”
He stopped dead and stood there with his mouth hanging open comically, staring at what had to be an illusion of Jared, standing there, looking so tall and strong and tanned and healthy and a ridiculous wide smile on his face and a suitcase at his feet.
Jared took a step forward and grasped Jensen’s face in both hands, his thumbs caressing his cheeks as he stared down at Jensen with wet eyes.
Jared chuckled huskily and leaned in to kiss Jensen softly on the lips, allowing Jensen to pull him further into the room and against the still open door as he seemed to finally realise Jared was here, not letting go of Jared’s mouth the entire time. Jensen deepened the kiss and his hands struggled to settle on any one part of Jared, reaching for and tugging, stroking and caressing where they could. Finally, breathing became a serious issue and Jared pulled back, causing Jensen to groan in disappointment as he tried to follow Jared’s mouth, ending up with Jared’s forehead pressed against his.
“You’re here! You’re here! Jesus....Jared, how?”
Jared shrugged and ran his hand lightly down over Jensen’s face “I couldn’t do it, I couldn’t stay anymore, I felt like I was drowning slowly Jensen, I need to be with you, needed to see you. God.....I love you.”
He leaned in once more and took Jensen’s mouth in a soul searing kiss that had Jensen leaning on Jared for support while his hands clutched at the black v neck sweater he wore.
“Jared......Jared....I missed you...fuck....I missed you, never again. Never again you hear?”
Jared shook his head “Never again Jensen I swear, you are never again going anywhere without me. I missed you too much.....too long....”
Jensen finally laughed, loud and clear and he felt like he had been woken up from a damn hibernation “Hell, a fucking weekend was too long, but five months? I don’t care what anyone says....I am never leaving you again.”
Leaning up to claim Jared’s mouth, Jared’s hands grasped his ass and pulled him to grind against him groaning and Jensen was sure he was going to lose it right here in the open doorway. “Jared........god......nnnnngghhhh....
Jared reluctantly let go of the ear he had travelled across to, leaving red marks dotted across Jensen’s neck on the way. His eyes were blown black and Jensen shivered. Pulling away long enough to pick Jared’s case up and drop it inside the door, his mouth chased Jared’s down again as he kicked the door closed behind him.
Later, as Jon Bon Jovi sang about laying his lover down on a bed of roses....Jensen looked down at the man spread out under him, sated and sleeping, head turned into Jensen’s arm, hand thrown across Jensen’s hip. He placed a feather light kiss to Jared’s tousled hair and ran a hand up his arm whispering “I love you” softly as Jon Bon Jovi finally faded into the night and Jensen closed his eyes and slept; a smile on his face.