The next time Jared became aware he was being ushered in his front door. He stood unmoving as Jensen closed it behind them and with Misha’s help guided him into his living room. It was evening now, the sun castings its rays into the room as Misha moved to close the curtains, turning to find Jared standing once more, as Jensen made a couple of calls.
“Jared, sit down, let me get you a drink ok?”
Jared’s eyes were swollen and dead as he turned to Misha.
“No.” His voice was shot from the sobs that had torn his throat “No....I’m going......”
“Jared? Don’t man, come on, sit down.”
“I want to be alone; I’m going to my room. I will just be in my room.”
Misha stood helpless and watched as Jared climbed the stairs like an old man and heard the door shut a minute later. Sighing he debated calling his wife or getting the whiskey he had promised Jared. Deciding, he moved to Jared’s liqueur cabinet, stopping to switch on a local news channel on the tv as he went, and poured three strong shots, turning to face Jensen as he returned to the room, eyes red and his phone clutched in his hand.
His eyes were immediately draw to the TV and the news channel that Misha had switched on. He stood rooted to the spot as images flickered on the screen, the volume was muted, Misha hadn’t wanted Jared to hear, but they didn’t need to hear what was being said, the tragedy unfolding in front of their eyes told the story. Debris scattered the runway and black smoke curled and rose as Fire-fighters fought the blaze. Words scrolled across the screen, telling them that it had been a quiet flight, only 18 people on board and six crew members. People were being interviewed, experts giving their opinion and obviously saying that even as tragic as this was, it could have been so much worse, so many more people could have lost their lives had it been a busier flight, but Jensen didn’t feel lucky. He didn’t feel anything but dawning horror and grief as the wreckage flickered on the screen once more. Chris was there somewhere. His cocky, wise assed friend was in there amongst that wreckage. He was alone out there, he needed to go to the airport, do.....something...anything.....
Jensen turned and took the offered glass from Misha, indicating the screen he whispered “I should go over there, see if I can find out anything....”
“Jensen, there is nothing you can do there, but Jared needs you here. You are better off here, cliff is gone down there anyway, he will let us know. Did you call Daneel?”
“Yeah she is gonna try and get here as soon as she can.....Steve too.....there isn’t.....” he took a steadying breath and continued “There isn’t much anyone can do now until.....but it will be good to have them here...”Looking around then he realised Jared was not in the room “Where is he?”
“He said he wanted to be alone....He went to his room, I was just gonna take this to him.”
Jensen nodded and reached out for Jared’s glass, “I will take it to him, I’m sure you have some calls of your own to make, I will be fine here, go....call whoever you need to.”
Jensen climbed the stairs and softly knocked on Jared’s bedroom door. Hearing nothing but a muffled sob coming from behind it, he turned the knob and entered cautiously. “Jared? Misha poured you a......Jared?”
He found Jared huddled in the corner of the room, hands clutched to the side of his head; a piece of paper on the floor in front of him, rocking slightly and completely unaware that Jensen had entered. Moving swiftly to where he was huddled Jensen picked up the paper and his hand flew to his mouth when he recognised Chris’s scrawl. “Oh Jared....” He reached out a hand but stopped short of touching the other man, knowing that at the moment nothing was going to comfort him. Instead he sat there, at his side in silence and watched as Jared continued to move backwards and forwards slightly, the occasional sob fighting its way free as his hands continued to clutched at his head.
Finally Jensen could put it off no longer. Jared needed a doctor, he needed something....something to calm him down, get him to sleep for a little while. Rising slowly he spoke softly “Jared? I’m just going downstairs to call the doctor ok? I will be right back.” He left quickly then, knowing Jared hadn’t heard a word and exited the bedroom just as a frantic banging sounded on the front door downstairs.
“What the hell?” Quickening his pace and praying that the press hadn’t gotten hold of the fact that a friend of the Supernatural stars had been on that flight he stopped dead at the foot of the stairs and felt faint at the sight before him.
Chris stood there, eyes panicked and his long hair hanging wildly about his face, Misha brought up the rear, his face a picture of shock and confusion.
“Chris?” Jensen took a step toward him and stopped, tears of shock blurring his vision and Chris moved the rest of the way, wrapping his arms around his tearful friend.
“Jesus Jensen I’m sorry....It’s ok, I’m ok.....Jesus I’m sorry.”
“But how? We heard the message...you got on the plane...how?”
“It’s a long story and I promise I will explain it all to you but where is Jared? Jensen where is Jared?” He had Jensen’s shoulders in a tight grip, but all Jensen could do was stare wide eyed. “He is in his room...Chris....he isn’t good....he thinks you’re dead.”
“Ok...ok I’m gonna go up.” He hugged Jensen quickly once more and squeezed his shoulder “its ok Jensen, I’m ok. Misha could you get this guy a fucking strong one? I’m gonna go up to Jared.”
He left Jensen then in Misha’s hands and took the stairs two at a time, and it wasn’t until Jensen heard the door click closed behind him that he heard the first sob. Once he started there was no stopping him and Misha awkwardly led him to the couch and handed him a glass of whiskey as Jensen continued to cry tears of relief and pent up grief. He was ok....he was ok....Chris was here, he was ok....
Upstairs, Chris softly shut the bedroom door behind him and took a moment to stare in shock at the state Jared was in. Huddled in the corner, the note he had written on the floor in front of him, rocking over and back slightly, his hands now resting on his bent knees, his head buried in them, Jared was silent, save for the occasional hiccup in his breath.
Jared’s head snapped up at the sound of his voice and his eyes filled with fresh tears as he took in the man standing just inside the door. “I’m sorry....Chris....I’m sorry.....please don’t hate me.....”
“Jared? Jesus Jared it’s ok, I’m ok.” Moving then and kneeling on the floor in front of Jared, Chris gently reached out and cupped his face. “I’m here, I’m real....I love you, Jared it’s ok, I’m here baby.”
Jared’s face creased into a frown and his breath hitched, as he stared disbelieving at the vision in front of him. “Chris?”
“I’m here, I’m here...it’s ok, I’m ok, I’m here, Jesus Jared come back to me now, I’m ok, come on man. I love you baby, come on back now.” He moved in and placed gentle kisses on the hands that clutched his knees in a vice grip, prying them off of his legs and holding them tightly, “I’m here, Jared, I’m here.”
Jared started to shake then, his eyes widening and Chris took his face in his hands and placed soft kisses on his eyes, his nose, his mouth, whispering all the while, “I’m here baby, I’m ok, come back to me now, come on dude, I’m here, I love you so much.”
Suddenly hands moved and framed his face as Jared realised he wasn’t dreaming, hands roamed his face, and pulled at his hair as they pulled him into a tight grip, “Chris! Jesus Chris.....” A sob and a laugh all at once as Jared’s mouth sought Chris’s and he kissed him messily and hungrily “Chris...how? Chris...I thought I’d lost you! Jesus what happened?”
“Woah dude, I will explain I promise, Just let me fucking hold you for a minute. I’m so sorry I scared you, I didn’t mean to....today was the most messed up day of my life...God I’m so happy I’m here...I love you so fucking much Jared, I’m never gonna stop saying it, not now....”
An hour later they sat huddled together on the couch as Chris explained to the men what had happened. He had been on the plane a whole thirty seconds before he realised he couldn’t go like that, not while Jared was so hurt, so angry. He had wanted to see him, to sort it out, tell him he was sorry, so he had tried to leave the plane only to be told it was too late. The plane was about to take off and he was told firmly that he had no choice but to stay aboard now. Chris had gotten so worked up, he had started shouting abuse at the poor air hostesses and the airport police had been called and he had been promptly arrested.
Taken to a holding room, he had been locked in, but then the accident had happened and in the panic he had somehow been forgotten. He hadn’t been discovered until hours later, when staff had been looking to set up an incident room. The second he had been released he had rushed straight over, knowing what they would have been thinking.
Misha eventually took his leave, spending another night in a hotel room until he could get a flight out as soon as the airport was reopened, shaking Chris’s hand and with a light squeeze to both Jared and Jensen’s shoulders he was gone. Jensen turned and faced Chris where he sat on the couch, hands running through Jared’s hair where he lay in an exhausted heap, his head in Chris’s lap.
“I’m glad you’re ok Chris.”
Chris smiled up at his old friend, “I am too dude.”
“I just.....all those people lost their lives, families have lost loved one, and I feel kinda bad that we had such a lucky escape, you know?”
Chris nodded, understanding what Jensen was trying to say. “I know, it’s been a fucking lousy day, I’m sorry I scared you like that, but I’m just so glad to be here.”
Jensen made a move for the stairs, stopping by the couch and clapping Chris on the shoulder as he went, “Me too man, me too. I’m gonna turn in, talk to you in the morning.”
After Jensen left, Chris sighed deep and leaned his head back against the back of the couch for a moment his eyes closed. Jared seemed to sense the change in his mood and lifted his head, sitting up and framing Chris’s face with one hand, thumb running across a roughened cheek he asked, “You ok?”
Chris turned his face into the touch and smiled at Jared, “Yeah, yeah I’m ok.” He closed his eyes for a moment just enjoying the feel of Jared touching his face before he opened them again “When I think about what could have happened Jared. When I think about not being here anymore, not being with you, it just.....Jesus it doesn’t bear thinking about. I don’t care where we are anymore, I don’t care how we do it, but I just want you. I want things to work out, I want us to be ok, I can’t imagine not being with you, I.....”
Jared’s mouth on his silenced Chris as he kissed him softly and pulled back, his forehead touching Chris’s, “I was an idiot, I was a fucking idiot to let you leave with things the way they were. I almost went out of my mind when I thought you were.....I’m sorry.....I fucked up too....we will be ok you and I, ‘cause after this I know for sure there is nothing more important to me than making sure you are happy, making sure we are together. Let’s go to New York, there is nothing I want more right this minute than to hear you sing, to know you are on that stage with Steve doing what makes you happy. There is plenty of time for us to be alone. I love you Chris.”
Chris smiled, a tired exhausted smile, but a smile full of happiness “God how’d I get so fucking lucky?”
Jared grinned and kissed Chris lightly and rose, pulling Chris to his feet, “I dunno, but while you figure it out, can we go to bed and sleep? I think I could sleep for a month.”
With his hand held tight in Jared’s they climbed the stairs together, making short work of stripping and climbing into bed. Neither man cared about looking foolish or girly, they just needed to cling and hold on and be grateful that they were there and they were alive and they were together.
A harsh lesson had been learned. It had taken a tragedy for the two men to realise that nothing mattered as long as they were together. People had lost their lives, and as Jared closed his eyes and breathed in the scent of the man he had almost lost forever, he could only thank whatever god had been watching out for them.
Curled around each other, both men slept.